SONNET TO MY LOVE

 

Once laughter echoed, but not anymore.

For silence now engulfs my broken heart.

Were there warning signs we chose to ignore?

I never expected you would depart,

Believing you’d never want to leave me.

Pretending tomorrow held the answer.

Now it is too late, you have deceived me.

By disregarding warnings of cancer.

Don’t you know you’re my one inspiration?

My heart cannot beat, my lungs drown in tears.

Only death can bring emancipation.

We had become one soul over the years.

Poison quench my thirst, I have far to go.

Sleep! Oh quickly come, Love, I miss you so.

 Kat Boyd

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Beyond this lifetime

She sleeps on the left side of the queen size bed. It is a habit forged by years of sharing her dreams with one special man. She remembers him each night, his gentle touch, his smell like Caress bar soap, his voice so strong and sexy, and his presence that allowed her to feel safe. She remembers his breath upon her neck as he snuggled close always spooning as they slept. She remembers drifting to sleep with the lullaby of his snores.

Now the bed is cold next to her, the room is silent and life is no longer safe. Still in her dreams, he lies beside her once again, wrapping her gently in his arms, breathing softly on her neck, spooning his body with hers as he snores the lullaby that she has become addicted to over the years. They continue to dream together beyond one lifetime.

Communication Really???

Communication? Really????????
Have you ever travelled many miles and spent hours driving to see a family member or friend to be greeted with the cellphone taking all their attention and time? This is a personal pet peeve of mine. When the “smartphone” first arrived on the scene, I noticed that people close to me were texting or checking email or Facebooking while I attempted to converse with them. That was just the first sign of things to come. Even when we went out for a nice meal, out came their phone. Really??? Not only were we being ignored, but we were paying for the meal while we sat quietly watching them talk to someone else who was obviously more important to them. Am I wrong to consider this rude? We had to ask them to put the phone away. These were not teenagers. They were in their 30s at the time. We weren’t too upset just annoyed. This cellphone phenomenon was new and etiquette was not yet established. Surely with time phone users would become aware that others did not want to hear their conversations or be ignored with their social media check ins.
Sadly, I was wrong. I recently went to a restaurant and noticed an entire family sitting waiting to be seated while glued to their electronic gadget. This family was not enjoying time together. They were in the same space, but in entirely different worlds. They weren’t making memories, they were zoning out. Then I saw a group of friends out for a night of fun together. Instead of talking to one another they were each on their own phone zoned out while sitting around a table. What? Am I so out of touch that I can’t understand the new age of communication?
Am I being selfish to expect my friends and family to talk to me when I am standing right in front of them? Even a phone call has become an invasion of a person’s space. We must text someone. Don’t you long for the sound of a human voice? There is a time for texting but there is also a time for human contact.
Family and friends no longer bother to connect with each other in person any more. They expect you to know what is going on in their life through Facebook, twitter, Instagram, or email. If you don’t buy into such media than you will not know what they feel is important. I can spend over an hour a day looking at my Facebook, email, twitter, or Instagram. If I decide not to do this, I am sure to miss out on a something important. I will not get a phone call or a visit. Everyone is too busy checking their phones. So I am forced to spend my time going through loads of pictures of food, or rants and raves about injustices, real or imagined, or cute sayings, or cat videos ( I love those too but there is a limit). Constant “likes”, “sharing”, or “pokes” are these real caring?
I am not an innocent bystander; I am guilty of this too. I have become a person who thinks everyone likes to see my recent “selfie” or word of wisdom or video of my dog. Somebody stop me! Really!
When a friend or family member pulls out their phone, I just pull out mine. We go into our own little world. Then when I lay in bed that night I ask myself…… WHY? Why do I feel so out of touch when it seems that I spend my entire day “communicating”?

Then I remember…

When I first awaken, I listen for you breathing

I reach for you next to me, then I recall my grieving.

I see you everywhere I look, the center of my life.

The reason I got up each day, it cuts me like a knife.

There will be no more kisses, no more talking back.

No more combing mornings, no more daily snacks.

Five o’clock was dinner, but now a I stop and cry.

Oh, my dear sweet baby, WHY did you have to die?

Now who will protect me, by sitting on my lap?

Who will listen when I talk; who will keep talking back?

You never let me feel alone, always watching over me.

I love you more than words; I miss you desperately.

I hope your death was painless, that God took you gently.

That Spice Girl came to greet you, and Danielle was there to see.

I know you have no pain now, you’re playing with your friends.

I know God holds you gently, like a baby bird in his hands.

Please feel how much I miss you; I wish it wasn’t so.

I want to hold you in my arms; I wish you didn’t go.

But I must face the truth, my love leaves me in pain.

I would exchange places, if you could remain.

BUT… then I remember.

You will live forever in my heart and memories.

R.I.P. Karma 8/24/14

Kat Boyd (Mom’s yorkie)

 

Living the Miracle

Living the Miracle

Listen to your heart

Hear its beating.

The Love you feel

Is never fleeting.

Look into the sky

It’s never ending.

See possibilities

That God is sending.

Touch a newborn babe

Feel her heart beating.

Miracle of life’s

Circle completing.

Taste of the garden

Savor each scrap.

The sour and sweetness

That you can  unwrap.

Smell, smell each Flower

Aromas divine.

Every blossom

Can just blow your mind.

Look, feel and listen

Taste and smell life.

Doing this each day

Will erase all your strife.

June 21, 2014 8:45 a.m.

Kat Boyd

A TAU XI SISTER BEDTIME STORY

A TAU XI SISTER BEDTIME STORY

 

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful Princess named Carelotta, who lived in the wilderness with her handsome husband, Kurt, Prince and Protector of Wildlife. Princess Carelotta was known throughout the Kingdom for her kindness and beauty.

First, we will talk about her kindness. Her beauty speaks for itself. Carelotta had a storybook life except for her twelve oddball Tau Xi Sisters, who were constantly asking for advice. That is where this story actually begins. Sadly, this story will run on and on until we all fall asleep from boredom. Isn’t that the true purpose of a bedtime story anyway?

Oh well…as I started to say…

“Happily Ever After” seemed to fade soon after Carelotta got a princess phone for her 30th birthday. Little did Prince Kurt realize the repercussion of such an apparently thoughtful gift.

Carelotta became concerned when shortly after receiving her phone, she began to experience a ringing in her ears. There was no escaping the constant ringing day and night. She decided to visit her sister Barbwire at her new castle. Barbwire never minced her words and told Carelotta to stop complaining and seek help. Sir Michael, the resident doctor was Barbwire’s husband. He didn’t take long to make a diagnosis. The ringing wasn’t physical. It was that new fangled princess phone that made that noise.

So Carelotta rushed home to answer it. No one accused Carelotta of being smart – only kind and beautiful. You can’t have everything, even if you ARE a Princess.

When she answered the phone, it was her sister Territory. Now Territory was the recently elected leader of the family and since attaining this region of responsibility, had begun inquiring into all her sister’s personal lives.

Territory was very concerned about SueAid Moon. It seems SueAid was quite upset because another sister, Glorie, had gone out and stolen her name. She claimed to be another Moon. SueAid refused to change her name again and was threatening to take the matter to civil court. SueAid, who was normally very helpful and supportive of her sisters, felt there wasn’t enough room on this planet for two Moons.

Everyone knew Glorie was enlightened, but why couldn’t she choose EARTH, WIND, or even FIRE – anything but Moon! Glorie knew the law and insisted that she had a God given right to choose any name she liked.

Being the kind sister she is, Carelotta promised Territory she would search for an amicable solution to the dilemma. Since Carelotta was no expert on the stars, she called Katalyst, who had studied Astrology at the local university. She felt Katalyst might have an idea that could help the Moon Sisters. Katalyst, who was pretty spacey herself, being both blonde and a Gemini – air sign, could not understand the problem. Having several personalities herself, she could never become so attached to a name. She would just choose another one. After all, variety is the spice of life. Katalyst did agree there was not enough room on this planet for two Moons, and suggested the possibility of relocation.

Katalyst, who had been accused of coming from another planet herself, decided to go in search of the proper planet to transplant her stubborn Moon sisters. She went directly to her little sister Sharing. She was willing to give them the shirt off her back if that could help, and had a personal relationship with the Tooth fairies since her husband, David, was the Kingdom Dentist.

After all, everyone knows that Tooth fairies, Easter Bunnies, and Santa Claus each travel the Universe and are very knowledgeable on properties that might be available.

Sure enough! “Baby tooth” the Master fairy, had heard about a hot piece of property which had recently come on the market on the Planet Hollywood. This planet had multiple moons and one or two more would never be noticed.

Sharing and Katalyst knew this was the perfect solution. They decided to use one of the family unicorns, Snow, to fly off and investigate. Planet Hollywood was like a dream come true. They just knew the Moons would love it there. Now they only needed some money to buy a place.

They got back on Snow and headed off to see their sister, C.D. She was a respected banker in the Kingdom. Now C.D. was the practical sister. She knew the value of a dime, which is all she had to her name that day. Payday was 5 days away.

“Sorry, but I have no money to loan two wacky sisters. No one in their right minds would lend you money. You don’t even know the difference between a unicorn and a Pegasus. Unicorns don’t fly, silly,” she chuckled. C.D. was sometimes cruel with her honesty. Katalyst and Sharing, being a sensitive pair, left the bank with tears rolling down their chipmunk cheeks. What will they do? They had to find some way to get the money to help the Moons.

Luckily, they ran into a former, but never forgotten sister, Brandy, who is a cheerleading coach. She lifted their spirits with a cup of good cheer, and they were smiling and humming as they parted. For some odd reason the words, “Steal it, Steal it, Take it Away” began to cross their minds.

They were humming those words when from around the corner jumped the wicked lawyer,

Mc Dormite.

“That’s against the law you stupid Tau Xi sisters,” he squeaked.

Quickly they were brought to their senses and jumped on Snow and flew away before Mc Dormite could weasel information from them. You see, Tau Xi sisters no longer considered him as Family. But that is another book!

Sharing and Katalyst continued on their quest for financial assistance. Where could they turn for help? Sharing suggested their sister, Darling. She was a great teacher and scholar of the Kingdom; surely she could think of something. Darling was quite pleased to see her favorite sisters. She cherished her entire family and made her home a sanctuary for those in need. Her hospitality was known throughout the Kingdom. She never became arrogant, even though she had married an Earl.

“Why not check with Palette and Bonne Amie, maybe they haven’t invested all their spare money in failing Pecan Market like our older sisters did this Christmas”, she suggested.

Bonne Amie and Palette were the two newest members of the Tau Xi family. Bonne Amie was everyone’s trusted friend who never knew a stranger, and Palette was known as the artistic/creative one in the family with ideas running the colors of the rainbow. Sure enough, they were more than willing to pay their dues and fork over the cash for such a good cause.

Katalyst and Sharing ran into another sister Marshal, shortly after getting the cash. She is the sister who always worried about the healthy practicalities in life and legalities. She reminded Katalyst that the law required all property be insured.

Luckily, sister Sunray was an expert in insurance, and was able to cut costs wherever possible. Her shining attitude gave Katalyst and Sharing the courage needed to face C.D. once again with their new plan. C.D. who is a financial whiz in her own right, admitted that her sisters had successfully solved the problem.

SueAid and Glorie loved the idea. They agreed to move to Planet Hollywood, where moons and Superstars like Sly Stallone and Bruce Willis can co-exist and even profit.

Princess Carelotta considered destroying that pesky phone so she could have peace and quiet again. But instead, she installed an answering machine, so she can secretly screen phone calls and only answer when she was truly needed.

Everyone lived Ever After Happily… or Not.

4/2/1995 Kat Boyd

Suicide

Today Suicide is on my mind. My sweet nephew took his own life 3 years ago today. He was only 32 years young with so much to live for. He has children that will never know him. He has nephews he will never meet. He missed his little sister’s wedding. He broke his mother’s heart and spirit. He left all of us who knew him, asking WHY???

Today Robin Williams at the age of 63 has taken his life also. Depression seems to be the cause and so we are all talking about what can be done to prevent such a tragic loss. I believe that people need to understand depression takes many forms and looks through many faces. Someone like Robin Williams who seemed to have it all was suffering and could find only one release. Many who are laughing on the outside are crying out for help on the inside. How do we reach these people?

Depression is an illness. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is something that we should all be able to talk about and be able to reach out for help without being judged. Sometimes just a smile from someone, a phone call, a hug, a card, an email or facebook comment can give that small encouragement that we need when we are deep in that hole of depression. I wrote a poem of how I felt when I was depressed and decided I will share it now. It may help someone out there to know that they are not alone and that if we can just hang on, tomorrow may be the best day of our lives.

DEPRESSION

I feel as though my Soul

Is falling down a hole.

I find nothing to hold on to.

 

My conscious says “Be glad”

But deep inside I’m sad,

Devoured by this uncontrollable blue.

 

Motivators  say, “Empower”

But it seems with every hour

I slip deeper.  I don’t know what to do.

 

I don’t know what happen,

But my mind is unwrappin.

And it isn’t a pretty  view.

 

I’m falling apart.

Losing all heart.

Depression is a wrecking crew.

 

I have no strength to cry out.

I whisper.  I can’t shout.

No one I love has a clue.

 

I send my concerns now,

In hopes that just somehow,

A miracle, you can construe.

 

Please… please… help me find

A way to save my mind.

Some form of superglue.

 

I’m fighting – I promise.

Though I may seem remiss.

I haven’t died.  I withdrew.

 

Can no one save me?

I’m lost in this dark sea,

Where only insanities brew.

 

Despair has eclipsed me.

I’m lost can’t you see?

With only pain to look through.

 

I can’t sleep at night.

I know it’s not right,

Waking up every hour or two.

 

No reason  to leave bed,

Each long day  – I just dread.

So I choose to dream – wouldn’t you?

 

                                                                                                Kat Boyd

PERFECTION

Perfection

All my life I was taught.
No one’s perfect. We’re not?

While searching for beauty
Only ugly I see.
Happiness eludes me
Though I long so to be.

Perfection I reach for
From the depths of my core.
I touch it so briefly
Then it’s gone like before.

I punish myself now
For my failure to find.
That one secret something
That brings peace to my mind.

But when I stop judging
And just open my heart.
I discover the secret
Was in ME from the start.

Yes, I am quite perfect
And I was all along.
You must believe me
Just stand and be strong.

Don’t believe the nay sayers
Because YOU’RE perfect too.
God made someone perfect
When he made me and you.

One Theme, Three Ways: Customizing Coraline

The WordPress.com Blog

There are more than 200 themes to choose from in the Theme Showcase: themes with sleek magazine-style front pages (like Oxygen and Watson), static business and profile sites (like Forefront and Profile), and portfolio designs (like Gridspace).

Within this mix are free themes that act as blank canvases for your blogs — ones you can use right out of the box, yet also transform dramatically.

You recognize Coraline, right?

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